The unmistakable chill in the air, smell of hot cocoa, and sight of Cousin Eddie in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into the sewer. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation playing in the background for the 400th time can mean only one thing.
The holidays have officially arrived.
The holidays are a special time of year filled with nostalgia and celebration. There are traditions to uphold, memories to be made, and plenty of joy to be had.
Preparation and anticipation that builds all year finally culminate in a fever pitch. The holiday season is a time of abundance. There is a ton of traffic, food, and stress. Lots of stress.
While splurging on a few extra cookies won’t slow you down too much, excessive stress will. Stress is more than unpleasant. It can be detrimental to your mood, sleep, and ability to be fully present for the festivities.
So why must the season to be merry feel like the season to be weary?
The Perfect Storm of Stress
The holidays are a perfect storm of lofty expectations, competing priorities, and limited time. There is the pressure of buying gifts and the toll of traveling.
Grief can be amplified as the pain of loss is especially apparent during such a memorable time of year. Less daylight and fewer outlets could lead to seasonal depression setting in or worsening for those affected.
There is increased exposure to potentially strained family dynamics. Not to mention, the pressure to fit in nearly as many household visits on Christmas as Santa himself.
At times, the whole experience can feel like it is more trouble than it’s worth. Yet, not only do most people consider the holiday hoopla to be unavoidable-they look forward to it.
However you choose to celebrate as a couple, stress shouldn’t get in the way. As long as you are prepared and empowered together- the Grinch doesn’t stand a chance.
In the spirit of giving, here are 8 tips to help you manage stress as a couple. One for each night of Hanukkah.
8 Tips for Couples to Overcome Holiday Stress Together
Tip #1: Create New Traditions That Are All Your Own
This practice allows for more flexibility and prioritizes couple time that otherwise can be so easily consumed by family, friends, and work celebrations.
Whether you decide to do a brisk hike on Black Friday, open gifts on Christmas eve, or go ‘all in’ on Festivus – it should be just for you every year.
Tip #2: Conversation Before Commitment
Have a policy to always commit to a conversation with each other before you commit to an event with others.
Partners want a say, and don’t like surprises.
Before you back yourself into a corner, make sure you have your partner’s back.
Tip #3: Use This Trick For Setting Boundaries
Setting limits and boundaries with others is critical, but difficult.
One trick to make the practice easier is to try saying “not” instead of “no.”
This simple tweak can lower the barrier a bit by allowing for “not this time” instead of “no we can’t.”
Ready to Begin?
Tip #4: Aim To Bargain Before You Compromise
Compromise gets all the glory, but the ability to bargain well is a cheat code that successful couples know how to employ.
In a compromise, each partner is making a concession, and both usually walk away disappointed.
By bargaining, you are swapping to create a scenario where each partner wins at some point.
Tip #5: Strive To Present A Unified Front
It may be cliched, but it is no less important.
Difficult conversations need to happen, but they should not happen in front of others.
Tip #6: Communicate like a PRO
Communication is too important to be guided by wishful thinking or left to chance.
This is especially true when there are so many moving parts, like during the holidays.
Instead, consider communicating like a PRO:
- Proactive: Like the best professional teams, you should proactively have a game plan discussed beforehand. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
- Responsive: Be mindful of when there is a rise in tension or a loss of momentum. Have a shared language and the ability to responsively call a timeout when the situation demands.
- On Schedule: Agree in advance to touch base on schedule at a certain time, just like halftime. It could be as simple as “Are we all good?” Or it might be “Somebody’s getting tired and cranky, we should probably head out soon.” Which could easily refer to the baby or Dad.
Tip #7: Repair Quickly
The season of giving should extend to giving each other grace, apologies, and forgiveness.
There is a lot of opportunity to step on each other’s toes, whether you’re wearing reindeer slippers or not.
While you can’t prevent it, you can protect against it by repairing it quickly and effectively.
Tip #8: Be Open To Asking For And Accepting Help
Start with one another. When partners lean on each other, their relationship grows stronger.
There is the added benefit of being around extended family and the extra sets of hands to chip in – if you ask.
Also, whether it is your first holiday together or your 50th, you may want to pursue premarital counseling or marriage counseling to get over the holiday hump and enhance your relationship through improved communication, conflict resolution, and connection.
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
The holidays will almost certainly be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be detrimental.
When managed collaboratively, the occasion can bring couples together instead of driving them apart.
These tips can go a long way to surviving holiday stress, and who knows- you just might be able to use them all year long.
That Clark — is the gift that keeps on giving.
At EPIC Counseling Solutions, we help couples in all stages of their relationship gain the skills and experience they need to find the relief and the results they seek.
If you have any questions about this information or want to take the first step to a better relationship – schedule your free consultation today.
We’re here for you in Camp Hill, PA, and the greater Harrisburg area.
