Marriage Tips For Retired Couples
A marriage that lasts until retirement is an accomplishment in and of itself. The overall divorce rate is nearly 50% and “grey divorce,” or those splitting after age 50, is becoming increasingly common. Riding off into the sunset together is simply no foregone conclusion.
Yet, most marriages that have stood the test of time, can still stand to improve with it. Fortunately, with the right guidance and a solid foundation a marriage can truly reach new heights.
The golden bachelor shouldn’t have all the fun, as married couples can make the most of their golden years too. Here are 10 ways to strengthen your marriage in retirement.
1. Have a Growth Mindset
The finish line is also a starting line. There is a tendency to focus so much on getting to retirement that once couples arrive, it’s like “now what?” Life looks different in retirement, and opting for a growth mindset focused on opportunity keeps couples energized and strengthens marriages.
2. Start Something New
Don’t just invest for retirement, invest in retirement. Financial security is important, but it holds little value alone. Couples should focus on investing their time and energy in a way that yields returns not seen in a stock portfolio. It doesn’t matter what it is- the key to sustaining anything is starting something.
3. Be Flexible
Marriages are like skyscrapers. The ones that last through the years and the storms are built with a strong foundation and enough flexibility to bend with the wind. In retirement couples are reaching the top floors, and the more rigid or flimsy their marriage- the more noticeable it will be.
4. Pursue Independent Interests
A good relationship is like a spark plug. There should be the right amount of gap between two partners to create a spark. If they are too far apart or too close, the engine won’t run. A mindful balance between individual and joint activities improves both.
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5. Reimagine and Prioritize Intimacy
Intimacy comes from both familiarity and mystery. Couples that last until retirement are typically very comfortable with one another. Couples that strengthen their marriage through retirement use that comfort level as a pathway to courage and vulnerability. In the process they cultivate a new level of emotional and physical intimacy.
6. Be Curious
By retirement most couples have been together for a very long time and know each other well. However, partners are moving targets, and the goal is for our understanding and the relationship to evolve as they do. The right communication is key. Old questions can provide new answers- if they are asked.
7. Bowl With Bumpers
Relationship strain is inevitable, the negative impact it can have is not. Successful marriages have a process to address concerns, correct miscommunication, and repair hurt feelings quickly and effectively.
You’re not going to bowl strikes every time, but a good process acts like bumpers so couples can bounce back without landing in the gutter. For those struggling with this, marriage counseling is a helpful resource that provides couples with the benefit of a skilled guide and a structured process to do just that.
8. Be Intentional
You don’t have to have a work schedule to lead with intention and be driven by purpose. In a long-term marriage, familiarity can be both friend and foe. The downside is that time together can accumulate debris that disrupts connection. Couples can make assumptions and take each other for granted.
Marriage in retirement is an opportunity to be deliberate about each other and the relationship in a new way. Communicating more consistently and directly is a necessary part of collaboratively sharing desires and choosing destinations.
9. Take Your Time
Approaching retirement, people tend to focus a lot on horizon timelines. Once they retire, the biggest difference and advantage is more time in a day. For couples, it is a great opportunity to give up being efficient to become more productive. You don’t need to run around in different directions to divide and conquer anymore.
Take the scenic route, cook a meal together, run errands with a copilot, and request the late checkout. Slow down, go further.
10. Let Go
It’s impossible to escape being hurt in relationships. This can be especially true when it comes to those we’re closest to- like a spouse. Over time, these wounds can become weapons. Come retirement, both partners have plenty of ammunition.
Forgiveness is a gift- for both people. Find ways to lighten the load. As they say, let go or be dragged.
Be the Difference Maker in Your Own Marriage
Marital challenges are inevitable, outcomes are not.
Spouses that are empowered with the right experience, tools, and by each other are the difference makers between a marriage that just survives and one that thrives.
It is never too late to begin again. Make use of these 10 tips to strengthen your marriage at a time you can enjoy it the most.
At EPIC Counseling Solutions we help couples in all stages of their relationship gain the skills and experience they need to find the relief and the results they seek.
If you have any questions about this information or want to take the first step to a better relationship- schedule your free consultation today.
We’re here for you in Camp Hill, PA, and the greater Harrisburg area.
